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Lifestyle | KBeauty | Living with Multiple Sclerosis | Cancer Survivor | Beauty Blogger | My mind takes me to many places! Come along for the ride.

Twitter: @koreansoul77
Instagram: halfkoreangirl25

Monday, December 31, 2012

It's the End of the World and I Feel Fine!

Wow two months huh? Sorry about that. The Mayan thing had me prepping for the end of the world and I had to make sure I had enough eggs stored. Speaking of...Have you people EVER seen Doomsday Preppers  Yeah, I didn't know you could oil up eggs and keep them for years EITHER. So, that's my tip for the day. 

Actually, I've just been crazy busy! I am happy to say I have a new job that doesn't eat my soul away (YAY), still loving paleo 100% (YAY), and am MS flare free (YAY)! I'm even feeling just good in general except some fatigue now and then. Big step up from lasts years "Bronchitis that lasts two months" fiasco.

I've been trying out some Paleo recipes and I'm going to post them here in the up-coming weeks. I've also just started to run again. My broken foot really kicked my bottom and I've just now been able to do 4 miles without pain. If you break your foot GO TO THE DOCTOR AND LISTEN TO HIM. If I wouldn't have I have no idea what I'd be like right now - probably unable to run again. 

A tip for my peeps (like that?) in the Orlando area - Freshfields Farm  is my new go-to place for produce and some of my meat! They don't have grass fed (yet) but they do have hormone free chicken, and I've had a hell of a time finding good chicken in the area so this works in the long run. Either way the produce is fresh and the meat is also fresh and cheap. Good things in my book! 

I love my new job! Doing the same thing I was before but again no soul sucking! Having a soul is a plus in my book and I want to keep mine around for awhile. 

Oh, and as a side note. I started a PhD program (big smile). Not doing much AT ALL. 


Monday, October 8, 2012

The Paleo Experiment

Hi everyone! Yes, it's me again and I've had a lot of stuff happening on my end of the world! New job, new things, new travels, and new problems (smile). I start my new job soon and I am very excited! I however am here to discuss Paleo!

As most know I started eating Paleo around May of this year. Two months ago I feel off the wagon. Well, to be honest I feel face first into a big huge bowl of pasta and sugar, happily making sugar angels in the powdered sugar with a stupid smile on my face.

I decided to go back to my Paleo ways two weeks back. I wasn't feeling as good, I was having weird heart burn, and I wanted more veggies in my life.

I have to say this, I am amazed how different I feel when I phase the grains and processed foods out. Some people respond to Paleo better then others and for some it's not a good diet choice, but I must say for me I think it's the perfect diet.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


I think that some people get so used to not having consequences that they become complacent in life. If nothing you do, good or bad, illicit any consequence, how will you learn?

I think this is a problem with our society in general. So many whiny people who except things to be exactly how they like it, and instead of being told "No" they are placated. This only teaches them that if they whine enough they will get what they want.

I think this breeds an environment of entitlement. Why, as a nation would we accept this as the status quo?

I find it ridiculous that I am about to provide someone with a consequence because they have never had one.   How does this get this bad?

Monday, September 3, 2012

The Rut

Well it's official I'm in a rut. A rut or maybe a mid life crisis (laugh).

No, just a rut.

I am a happy positive person and I enjoy my life but I've felt like things are stagnant lately. I know exactly what is contributing to it. The problem is how do you change things?

I have for awhile thought that this is just life. You fall into a day in and day out routine and that's how it is. I've realized in the past couple of months that that isn't the case. You just have to get rid of the stuff that's weighing you down.

I'm trying to rectify one situation as we speak. It's not that easy because I need to have certain things because of my MS. So, this might be a little tricky but I'll get it done.

My second situation is my own fault. I've changed my way of thinking about it and already my rut seems to be better. It's fun how when you tell someone to man up how much your perspective changes (smile).

I've also started walking (fast walking) more. This is my compromise to not jogging or running for awhile. In two months I'm going to start running again. No running since the neck arthritis/pec minor issue. I sorta got lazy and I've finally shook myself out of it.

The exercise may push me out of the rut all together. I enjoy registering and prepping for a race. So, I think my next thing is to look for a race. Mwhahahaha

Keeping up with the MSers

Hi Peeps! It's been awhile I know. Life gets in the way what can I say (smile).

I'm going to get back to my daily posting starting with this one.

As some know (or don't know) I am a MS Advocate. We recently had our forum meeting and let me tell you it was amazing to see everyone again! It's also a great restarting and re-energizing point for us advocates.

This links back to MS in general. There were over 180 of us at the forum. Some of us are disabled (in motorized chairs or walking with canes) but most of us are not. I have to say the all of who were there are OK. By that I mean that while we have our issues we are living and having fun! We went to Lajolla and climbed around an Aircraft carrier; even those who had mobility issues were on that aircraft carrier.

This brings me to a point that I have to reiterate. How you deal with your disease and how it effects you is VERY contingent on your perspective. We all walked, laughed, danced, were silly, and enjoyed ourselves. So many people consumed themselves with what ifs and woe is me thoughts that they miss out on their lives.

Is it kinda crappy that I have to give myself a shot? Yeah sure it is, but honestly it's just part of my routine now. I get fatigue and other cruddy little things but most people get that.

I was traveling for over 12 hours the other day and I started thinking about how exhausted I was. Well, anyone would be exhausted after that much travel.

I find a lot of people with MS just want to complain and wallow. Yes it does suck sometimes, but for the love, life isn't always sunshine and puppy dogs!

Words of tough love now - Get over yourself. It's life. Good and bad things will happen and you have to deal with it. Try not to drag everyone else down with you! 

Sunday, July 1, 2012

A Whole MONTH!

Wow, June has been crazy! I just got the desire to blog and looking at my last post I realize it's been a month! How crazy is that!

The month of June has been crazy for me personally. I'll do a quick rundown and then I'll blog more about my fitness and diet stuff as time allows!

1 - Florida is hot. REALLY HOT and I lost AC for about three weeks. Now, when you have MS no AC in Florida = torture. Luckily it's fixed now and the sweet good of cold air favors me again! Do not anger this person!

2 - Florida is also full o'rain. Rain rain rain this month. So much rain that On June 25th I got a little flooded. YAY. No AC and Flooding. Hmmm

3 - June 25th was also my birthday YAY. No AC and Flooding on my birthday. Hmmmm

4 - I have been diagnosed with Arthritis in my neck. SO, on June 21st I had my first PT appointment. Where I found out that my shoulders are all kinds of fucked up because of pain (I was electrocuted that day to try to make the muscles behave), I can't run until we get it fixed (because of compression), and I'm going to have PT every Monday and Wednesday until the end of the world (which is Dec 21st). That was a busy Thursday.

5 - I'm on a new project at work! This is good because now I have something to do at work! Yay!! This is very exciting for me!

6 - I have proof I live in hell (floodings, fire, and no ac).

WHEW what a busy June!

I've also been continuing on with my whole, nutritious, and locally grown foods lifestyle. It makes me feel 'so' much better. I'm also going to post a review of a book I just read called It Starts With Food by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig. I also got a fitbit and will be talking about that.

This second half of 2012 should be exciting for me!

Have I ever mentioned MS doesn't like stress....yeah (smile).

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Everyone in the House is Crazy

Here are reasons that everyone (and every animal) in my house is crazy. It's a given I am and I suppose since it's my house that's why everything else is.

1. My mother finds important papers and throws them away.
I don't care if I hide them in a box in a file cabinet in my closet, she will find them. It's like some sort of GPS for important stuff she can throw away.

2. Kobe (my dog) has decided vegetables are better then meat.
He eats almost any type of vegetable he can get his little mouth on. Yes, I make sure it's nothing bad for dogs but I've never seen a dog so EXCITED to see Kale. I was washing some today and he was whining. I say "You wont like this" and give him a leaf. Which he gobbled up and asked for more. O.o The other dog Ben just stared at him like he was insane.

3. My mother gives very expensive food/nuts/my dinner to the dogs.
She loves the dogs. I love the dogs. However, she needs to stop giving my raw Macadamia nuts to them as treats. At 14 bucks a lb it's one of the most expensive dog treats ever. She also must stop boiling my free range chicken breast/grass fed beef for dog treats. I take it back the meat makes the most expensive dog treats ever.

4. The dogs sit in chairs.
Yes, I said that right. No need to explain.

5. My mother eats avocados and goji berries together.
Maybe it's good but it looks horrible and weird (laugh).

6. Creepy dog staring.
My mother walks the dogs all the time now. Great for her and the dogs. However, the dogs will come bac from their early morning walk, and if I'm not awake yet, proceed to sit as close as possible to the bed without actually touching it and just stare at me and breath o.o o.o <----dog eyes. It's like children of the corn but with dogs in my bedroom at 6am.

The list could be longer but I just heard a commotion in the kitchen and I think someone realized there is a bowl of freshly washed bowl of kale on the kitchen island. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Ankles and Ank-ouches

Today is day two of me sitting at home with ice on my ankles. I don't know what happened. I didn't run this weekend and I don't think I did anything more strenuous then usual but here I am. They don't think it's MS related because it's both ankles but I'm not so sure. I know it's a slim chance that there would be bilateral (both ankle) pain but it just feels odd.

This puts a little bit of a damper on the running but in the long run walking without pain > running. So, I will rest and a be a good girl. Tomorrow I try to brave work and see how I fare with the pain. I hope by tomorrow the pain is magically gone! That would be amazing!

At least I get to catch up on DVRd TV shows (BIG SMILE). 

Oven Booby Traps

In my previous post I spoke about my new cast iron pan and how I had a great dinner with my sweetie. Let me now tell you what happened while I was trying to make this dinner.

I'm preheating my oven to 425 to pre-roast my chicken before I put it into my dutch oven. While I'm waiting for it to preheat I start chopping onions, bacon, and shallots. Then, I smell something odd...I open the oven and the first thought in my head was FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

My mother (who I love SO MUCH) had put pans in the oven. Now, the pans are fine and the heat wouldn't have bothered them but the green plastic Tupperware container was not so lucky.

Oh yes, my 4 gallon green Tupperware bowl was in there (I don't know why I didn't ask) and sexily melting into the bottom of the oven. Sort of like a Salvador Dali "Melting Clocks" but much more ethereal and the smell was horrible. So, I'm yelling for help, which my mother ignores until I tell her the oven is on fire. This was not true but it got her moving!

It's a good thing that we have industrial fans in the house (we owned a dry cleaners for over 20 years - yes we're those Korean people) because the smell was insane. I really thought I was going to have to cancel dinner plans and just take my boyfriend out. Miracles of miracles though we got the smell out and after a lot of scraping and cleaning of melted plastic, I was able to put my chicken in the oven.

The chicken was fab, everything else I wanted to cook didn't work out so well, and I couldn't make my Quinoa salad (laugh). However, it was still yummy and my guy liked it!

Moral of the story? Don't store expensive plastic Tupperware in the oven OR let other people in the house know that you are storing expensive plastic Tupperware in the oven.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Le Cre what?

Le Creuset is a very well known name in cast iron. They are well know for it and have been manufacturing cast iron for decades. I was in the market for one of their enameled cast Iron dutch ovens and I was going to get one! I went to the local store and...after looking at and handling their product - I didn't see what warranted an over 300 dollar price tag.

Not ready to plop down that much money I walked away dejected. I started looking around at what people were saying about Le Creuset and other brands. Was Le Creuset really worth that price tag?

After reading many posts, comparisons, and opinions I realized two things: 1) People were very enamored with Le Creuset and had very good things to day about it. 2) Most of those same people said that there was lower cost versions that were just as good as Le Creuset.

These facts lead me to lodges cast iorn. I saw a side to side comparison of the two and honestly there was no difference in the quality of the food cooked in the pan or in the craftsmanship of the pan. This past week I bought a 6quart red enameled cast iron dutch oven from Lodges.

The first time I used it was this past Saturday. I made Coq Au Vin for my boyfriend and let me tell you, the pan is amazing. I had no problems with it at all and the food came out perfect.

I even made the meal all Paleo and my guy didn't even know (smile). For everyone trying to do Paleo and who like to cook, investing in a dutch oven is well worth it! The tastes brought out in the cooking were amazing.

I had a wonderful night with my honey and a great meal thanks to my new dutch oven! 

Friday, May 18, 2012

Paleo Diet for the Win!

For everyone who is not aware at this point - I have been actively doing the Paleo diet for about two months now. I have touted that I feel better, have more energy, and really enjoy it in general! For those who are wondering, no Paleo is not a re-naming of the Atkins diet. I recommend this website (and Mark's book) to get a better hold on Paleo if you're interested. Mark's site is Mark's Daily Apple which has a lot of resource information as well as Mark's blog.

As for people who don't believe Paleo works, here is a news report reporting on a study that compared the Mediterranean Diet to Paleo Click to see the news News Report. Here is a second report (same news station) that discusses Saturated Fat/Red Meat Saturated Fats!

It's also not hard to eat or find things to eat with out all the processed garbage. Go to farmers markets, find local farms and producers of things like eggs and meat, and get moving. I feel better then I have in a long time and I'm enjoying the diet a lot (smile).

I *did* make some oatmeal raisin cookies last night but I made them to be given away. I ate one but I don't think that's going to off me anytime soon lol.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Redesign - Running

I think I'm going to redesign my little spot on the internets soon. I've got a few ideas that I believe will work out well.

My running training has been at a standstill. The same running every day for the month or so. However, my friend did a triathlon this past weekend and she inspired me. So, I'm mixing up my running and weights! Woo hoo for being fit and eating right! 

I think I'll be ready for a half marathon (why push it?) by the end of the year. So, I'm going to register for one and hell or high water I'm doing it! Wish me luck and stay tuned for my crazy blogs! 

Monday, May 14, 2012

Leptin Reset Week 3 and CPAP madness!

Well 3rd week on Leptin and really it's more of a way of life now. BTW I'm trying to find a good source for my chorizo habit. Any ideas people? I digress.I feel tons better and it's easy to eat this way but I didn't know how much it was doing until Sunday. 

I watched my friend do a Triathlon on Sunday - Well at least part of one. What this means is that was supposed to go in the am, my phone didn't alert me to her texts, then I got all of them at once (from her and the hubby). So, I quickly shoved some food in my mouth and ran out the door. 

This means I didn't get my allotted amount of protein and WOO I could tell. By 11 when we were getting food I felt like I could eat a horse. Then that evening I was so hungry I couldn't think straight! 

Leptin does something if nothing but keep me full!  

As for this CPAP Business - I'm not sure it's helping at all. From what I've heard most people report that it makes them feel better almost immediately. I haven't felt any better. I thought I did a bit on the first day but that's quickly gone away. Maybe this takes longer then I thought; or whatever other excuse can be thrown in here, but I'm not so happy with this crap. If it's not going to help me then I don't want to strap a mask to my face very night. 

Yes, I have been doing it every night religiously. Since my doctor decided not to share my results or talk to me about this "AT ALL" I don't know what the sleep study report said. I have to wonder how sever they think it is and if I even need this machine. 

I still haven't made my shopping bag. Even though I've been trying every night. Who can have hobbies when you have things like Triathlons and farmers markets to worry about (smile)?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

CPAPs Are Us

So, I got my cool machine yesterday. I'd put a picture up but honestly I don't want to put a picture up of it cause I don't like it lol.

I have it all set up and I wore it last night. Let me say that I really dislike the fact that I have to use this thing. Have I said that before? As I was saying, I wore it last night and I was able to sleep. That means after awhile I will get used to it. I don't know if I feel better yet. I can't really tell.

Also, I haven't had time to make my bag but bag making is gonna happy TONIGHT! YAY! This means that hopefully I will have a photo to show you of my brand new farmers market bag later this evening.

I am MUI excited about this! A friend at work also gave me some material that he had left over (yes a guy go with it). I'm going to make a bag out of this as well! Yay!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Bill of Rights for People of Mixed Heritage:

Saw this, loved it and decided to steal it. Thank you to Achariya for linking me to it (This is her Blog - Achariya Writes - Shameless plug!). It's copy written and I take NO ownership of this! This is just something I identify with! Enjoy it!

Bill of Rights for People of Mixed Heritage:

Not to justify my existence in this world.
Not to keep the races separate within me.
Not to justify my ethnic legitimacy.
Not to be responsible for people’s discomfort with
my physical or ethnic ambiguity.

To identify myself differently than strangers
expect me to identify.
To identify myself differently than how my parents
identify me.
To identify myself differently than my brothers and
To identify myself differently in different

To create a vocabulary to communicate about
being multiracial or multi-ethnic.
To change my identity over my lifetime--and more
than once.
To have loyalties and identification with more
than one group of people.
To freely choose whom I befriend and love.

© Maria P. P. Root, PhD

Domestic? MOI?!

I never bring plastic bags to the local farmers market. I have this awesome canvas bag from Whole Foods that I use. Well, I want a new bag! I was looking online and do you know for a bag like that it's expensive?! (mock shocked look on face)

This leads me to a project. I am going to make a couple of shopping bags! My mother has been a seamstress for over 50 years (not an exaggeration) and I can sew. Why I've never done it before? I don't know. My mother doesn't like it when I sew. I think she doesn't want me to be a seamstress. Which is fine, I don't want to be a seamstress either, but it can save money and the environment! So, this evening I will attempt to make a bag I saw a pattern for on-line.

I guess this is me getting domestic. Not sure I want to be domestic...

I will show you the results. Mwhahahahaha.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Apnea and You (well me really)

If you have been reading my recent posts you know that I've been talking about the fact that I have sleep apnea in weird little blurbs. Only blurbs because I was a little annoyed, upset, pissed, bitchy about the fact that I have sleep apnea. Yeah I admit it!

For the past year and a half or so I have been refusing a sleep study when my doctors bring it up. This is because I have MS and one of the HUGE COMMON SYMPTOMS of MS is fatigue. Also, the more I exercised the better I felt. This is very common with fatigue and MS. Exercise helps the fatigue a 'lot'. Well, I've noticed for about six months now that I have been really fatigued which I talked about in a previous blog post No I'm Not Tired!

Well my doctor starts getting on me about doing a sleep study. To shut them up I agreed to wear a pulse ox, which is a little machine that measures how much oxygen is going through your body, while I sleep. I've never thought about sleep apnea for other reasons, such as I don't snore, I don't fall asleep during the day (Cept that one time) and no one has ever commented that I stop breathing when I sleep (shout out to my sweetie). Well that little thing showed that my oxygen levels were dipping a bit too low. Which lead to a REAL sleep study in a strange place and all that jazz.

Fun information I didn't know. There is something called central sleep apnea. Which happens with people who have MS (rubbing my eyeballs). Central sleep apnea is when you repeatedly stop breathing during sleep because the brain temporarily stops sending signals to the muscles that control breathing (robbing my eyeballs harder). SO, I have sleep apnea. Which I can add to the long list of "Shit that Annoys Me" and/or "Holy Shit I Wonder How Big My Medical Chart Can Get". As a side note I love Jackie Chan. I may go to hell for using that image on my blog because I am Asian but that's OK. LOVE YOU JACKIE!

Back to the story - On Wendsday I have to go to the cool "Get your breathing shit here" store and get fitted and learn how to use my machine. Let me tell you THAT is gonna be a BLAST. I may feel amazing when I get it through which would be great! I will let you guys know how it goes after Wed!

What's Worse - No Work or to Much Work?

Would you rather have no work and just float through the day or to have so much work you can't breathe? I like work! Work work work work. I'd rather the day fly by then have no work and sit here and count the ceiling tiles.

BTW the ceiling tiles in my build are 28 X 19 not taking into account beams and quarter tiles.

I'm not sure if this is from the MS or if it's just me but I get tired, and when I have nothing to stimulate my mind, I get really tired. This leads to me wanting to put my head down on my desk and take a nap! We can't take naps at work.

I mean I guess I could nap but then I wouldn't have a job. Which leads to bad things like no house or food. I want to avoid that at all costs. I like buying my artesian sausage like a bourgeois hippy thank you! Yes I know what I am!!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Where to get Natural, Local, Clean Foods in the Orlando Area

This blog is going to be an informative one!

What I wanted to do here was post a list of farms, vendors, local butches, and other links to help people around the Orlando area get some good stuff!

I've decided to eat clean, natural, and local as much as possible. I'd like to encourage everyone else to do the same. So here is a list of some places I've found that I love!

Lake Meadow Naturals - This is a local farm and I get all of my eggs here! They're a little low on beef right now because their cow's aren't ready but they have a lot of Berkshire pork and goat at the moment! I haven't had any of their chicken because they only sell whole chickens so I can't speak to that. I can say that everything else tastes great!

The Butchers Pantry - Recently found these guys at the Winter Garden Harvest Festival. Great local butchers making some amazing things! Their Texas sausage was PHENOMENAL.

Big Wheel Provisions - Not only a food truck but SO MUCH MORE. Bought some bacon from them this weekend and I am in love!

Wild Ocean Market - Fresh fish farmed out of the ocean here in Florida! Their shrimp is great and I am so excited to have a great local seller of FRESH fish.

Winter Park Dairy - Raw cheese maker here in Central Florida. Great stuff if you love cheese!

Bear Wolf Ranch - All Chicken all the time! They sell whole chickens as well as cuts of chicken (Breast and Thigh).

Farmers Market

Audubon Park Community Market -  Most of the people up there (pointing up) are here every Monday night in Down Town Orlando off of Bumby. I suggest you check it out!

Winter Garden Farmers Market - Small, local, and so worth it. Near and dear to my heart (smile).

There are more places but I only want to talk about places I have personal dealings with! Once I try more I will post more!

Leptin Reset Week Two

Here I am two weeks post starting the leptin reset and I am happy to report a few things.

First off - I haven't had a craving for carbs at all. Now when I say that you must understand how amazing this is for me. Previously I could eat a sack-o-peanut butter cups. Not a joke a whole SACK. I've had a compulsive eating problem most of my life that I have slowly gotten control of. However, I still struggled with some trigger foods now and then. Such as peanut butter cups! But who can deny themselves of peanut butter cups and ice cream forever I ask?!!

If there was a peanut butter cup in my house (or ice cream) it would be eaten with a flourish of nomnomnom. Now, not only have I no desire to go buy some peanut butter cups but I have four pints of ice cream sitting in my freezer. Two I'm not sure how they got there and I'm contemplating that there is a literal ice cream fairy leaving ice cream in my fridge. The other two are the new Ben & Jerry's frozen Greek yogurt that I've wanted to try. I bought them and I've had no desire to eat them.

This is akin to blind people being able to see again in my weird compulsive overeating mind.

Second awesome thing is that I feel 'amazing'. Other then the fact I have MS and I suppose sleep apnea (mumbling and that will be another post) I feel amazing. The food is doing something. If it's the lower carb count that naturally happens or the fact that it's not as processed, I don't know, but I feel better.

Here's a fun little story. Friday night I was tired and didn't want to cook. Work has been stressing me out lately and that makes me very tired. So, I come home tired and my mother wants to order food. I make a compromise and get some chicken and pizza. I figure I can eat the chicken without to many issues and she can have some pizza.

Now the pizza had cheese, sausage, onions, and bell peppers on it. I picked off some of the cheese because I wanted to try it without eating any crust. Pizza is always one of those things I eat just because it's full of grease and pizzay (the fast food type like Pizza Hut at least. There are some great artesional pizzas out there that are amazing!). The toppings I picked off tasted horrible. The chicken was even worse.

For those of you who think there is no taste difference in free range chicken and grass fed beef, you are mistaken! I was absolutely shocked at how horrible this was. I had to throw it away I couldn't eat it at all.

I took a trip to the farm on Saturday and decided not to waste my money anymore on food delivery!

Week Two of the leptin reset has gone well and whatever is causing the cravings to go away, leptin or not, it's a great side effect!

I must say that I'm loving this and I'm feeling great! Week two has been a huge success!

Saturday, May 5, 2012


Well peeps I have been buying ghee (clarified butter) to cook with since doing the paleo/leptin foodie thing. I am a bit lazy so buying was easier. I was told by this cool new app from Nom Nom Paleo that making ghee was easy! SO, I put my big girl pants on and decided to make some!

I get my butter! 2lbs of it to be exact! Go large or go home! (No, I don't eat the rice that's on the table or use the PAM spray. My Korean mother does though! I'm surprised there isn't a can of spam there...) 

2lbs of butter is a lot of butter (yeah the pictures suck but I'm using my iPhone sue me). So, I cut it up into slices like a bread loaf! 

And put it in the pan.

I also get my cheese cloth strainer and huge measuring cup! Thank you again Nom Nom Paleo app! If you look close you can see my new name and enough spices to kill a small village of people. 

Look we have bubbles!

Lots of foamy stuff happens (shocked look). You can't see it in this photo but once the little milk soilds get brown they start to float to the bottom. Then you know you're done! Soooo, I strained it! 

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. This is after i strained all of the nasty out of the butter.

AND we have ghee!! IN a jar...next to a pink flowered rice cooker. TADA!

It took maybe an hour. I was thinking it would take less time but I didn't take into account I was melting 2lbs of butter. It really was easy if not time consuming. I also was scared that I would burn it so I may or may not have sat on a stool next to the stove for an hour texting people and posting on facebook. 

Time for me to go for a walk in this 1000 degree Florida weather! Will blog more if I live! 

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Leptin Reset - One week later

So, for those of you who have been reading my blog I have been doing a Leptin reset. This is to help your body become sensitive again to leptin (see what I did there?)

I'm going to dork out medically for about a paragraph here so if you don't want to be a dork (or it's boring to read medically specific info) you should skip down to the "condensed" version.

Long Explanation of Leptin: 

Human leptin is a protein of 167 amino acids. It is manufactured primarily in the adipocytes of white adipose (adipose is fat FYI) tissue, and the level of circulating leptin is directly proportional to the total amount of fat in the body.

Leptin acts on receptors in the hypothalamus of the brain where it inhibits appetite by (1) counteracting the effects of neuropeptide Y (a potent feeding stimulant secreted by cells in the gut and in the hypothalamus); (2) counteracting the effects of anandamide (another potent feeding stimulant that binds to the same receptors as THC, the active ingredient of marijuana); and (3) promoting the synthesis of α-MSH, an appetite suppressant. This inhibition is long-term, in contrast to the rapid inhibition of eating by cholecystokinin (CCK) and the slower suppression of hunger between meals mediated by PPY3-36. The absence of a leptin (or its receptor) leads to uncontrolled food intake and resulting obesity.

Short Explanation of Leptin: 

If it's working right you can control your appetite and metabolism better.

I've been doing this, and I'm not hungry at all and even when I do eat,  I don't want to eat much. It's either working/meat makes me full/I'm controlling my intake better. Either way I'm holding steady at my current weight loss with no gains AND with eating stuff like bacon MMMMM Bacon.

I do seem to feel better as well. Now I've been tired but I think that has more to do with a sleep study and a stressful work week. Which brought on a few bouts of dizziness. Could also be the MS. You never know what that silent little asshole is doing. I have more energy though in general and my mood is much better.

Last night I had Salisbury steak and today I turned the leftovers into Chili. I LOVE Chili.

Picked apart Salisbury steak turning into Chili before my very eyes.

Chili! With some aged cheddar!

Ok, so that above? Not 100% Leptin good. He suggests staying away from nightshades (tomatoes, hot peppers) I can't. I do better with them then without so I made an adjustment. I also had some cheddar but...well ok so I'm doing more Paleo/Primal then leptin today lol.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

(looking around cockeyed) or Thank you Nom Nom Paleo!

Two things here. First I'm going to whine and vent and second I'm going to give huge Kudos to Nom Nom Paleo (CLICK THIS LINK CHECK THIS OUT!).

What the hell is going on? I'm SO TIRED again. I slept for 14 hours the other day. Literally came home from work, cooked, ate, went to sleep, and my little Asian eyes didn't open again until I was trying to find my alarm. Which is my iPhone, which was missing somewhere on my bed in the blankets and pillows. I was a 'wee' bit angry. This does not feel like fatigue so I wonder what the hell this is! Grrrrrrr

Maybe it's because I've been cooking (laughing). Today I made Salisbury steak with garlic herb gravy, and cauliflower rice. So good and I am stuffed! I lost 25 lbs before I started my leptin reset and I've been holding steady at that. I wanted to slow my weight loss down and it has. I am really happy about that! I was losing way to much to fast at first.

Shallots, onions, spices from tea and spice in Winter Park, grass feed beef and pork, ghee, and cauliflower rice! YUM!

To bad I didn't take any photos of the rice (big smile).

 NOW To give KUDOS to a site and two people that deserve it! Nom Nom Paleo is an amazing website. Click here RIGHT NOW -------->  Nom Nom Paleo

What drew me in at first was the amazing photography. The second was that it was all Paleo (Hence the name of the site - pretty tricky huh?) and that there are a LOT of great recipes. Cauliflower rice people! (smile)

They recently (Friday) released an iPad app full of amazing recipes and all kinds of bells and whistles!

Well, I have a first gen iPad and this app was optimized for the new High Res screen in the new iPad. Unknown to them, the optimization effected the performance of the app on the first gen.  I found out after I purchased it (sad face) but this was not their fault and I was happy to purchase it! They promised a update would come to help fix the problem!

Well I commented on their blog. Something like "Drat, I have a first Gen and I already got it!". To my utter shock, they sent me an iTunes gift card to make up for the issue with the app!

I'm not shocked that they cared and would do it (They seem like lovely caring people that like to cut up sides of cow and eat pigs) but I guess in this day and age you don't expect someone to be considerate.

So a huge hats off to Nom Nom Paleo for being the best site for Paleo foodies, and for being amazing people that take others into consideration!

Oh, and  for being able to butcher a cow by hand! 

Friday, April 27, 2012

Things that Annoy Me Part 3

From time to time I get so annoyed that I have to post lists. This is one of those lists.

  1. Don't take your shit out on me. If you're having a bad day or your hair isn't falling they way you want or the wind blows up your ass sideways I don't care. If I work with you I REALLY DON'T CARE. Grow a pair, put your big boy or girl pants on and fucking do your job. I do mine, deal with you, and not scream, you can do yours too. Kai? Kai, bye.  
  2. As well, if you're going to talk on the phone, talk to co-workers, surf the net, and look at other companies websites. Don't ask me to do YOUR work. The work you couldn't get too. This makes me angry. 
  3. Why do peoples cars smell like french whores? Ok, I get it you have perfume you want it to smell pretty etc etc but then let me drive!! I get car sick and I'm sensitive to smells. JUST LET ME DRIVE. If you feel bad give me gas money we'll call it even. I'd rather not puke! 
  4. If your daughter can't get her own job and wont go to school so you make her your receptionist. Please at least tell her she has to not have an attitude. The incompetent prissy face is going to get slapped one day. 
  5. Please stop telling me that you know someone that has MS and is in a wheel chair and can't speak anymore. That's not me see (jumping up and down). 
  6. Akin to number 4. I don't care if you know someone who's brothers, uncles, sisters, boyfriends, mother, did high protein and got some kind of rare south american disease. Leave me alone and let me eat what I want to eat. 
  7. I don't mind listening to people vent but stop venting to me about made up, psychosomatic, fake things in your head. After while I'm just going to look at you like you're an asshole and you're just going to call me judgmental and mean. 

That is my list at the moment (smile). Tomorrow = one week of Leptin. I'll discuss more tonight. :) 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Half-Korean Cavegirl Who Didn't Sleep

So today I started the leptin reset. You can read about it at Dr. Kruse's website Leptin Reset. I had a huge breakfast of bacon and eggs. I really couldn't eat it all but I needed to get the protein in.

I've decided to do this because I've always had huge fluctuations in weight. For example in one day I can gain 10 lbs of water weight. I'm thinking that the reset can help me with that. If it doesn't then I'll go back to just paleo (smile). No, I'm not crazy but I need to find a way to get under the weight I seem to be stuck with. Between MS, insulin resistance, my new fun breathing problem, and other issues, I need to get to a healthy weight!

Yes even with running I struggle with weight. So something has to give, and if that means I have to eat 6 thousand eggs every morning so be it. lol

I also had a sleep study last night (hence the no sleep - pointing up). Yeah... that was a blast. The sleep tech was horrible. I'd had one previously and she was amazing. This was my follow up and I got to wear a very sexy mask this time (laugh). The woman tried to command me to go to bed and how to sleep i.e., don't move until 1:30am, shut the TV off etc. So.....how do you expect me to sleep normally? She annoyed me more then anything which kept me up longer then if she would have just shut the hell up and let me sleep.

Well, it's time to go to the farmers market! 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Food Porn and Sleep Studies

Food porn are well taken pictures of succulent and tasty looking food. Since I've been switching my diet around I have been visiting a lot of food sites. One of the sites with the best photographs is Nom Nom Paleo. She also has an amazing amount of paleo recipes and an iPad app which is coming soon! I cannot wait for that iPad app!

I have also been looking for local farms to get meat, poultry, and veggies from. There is a great website where you can search your area for local co-ops and farms called Local Harvest. I found a few farms around here and let me tell you the meat is AHmazing.

I also have been partaking in my local farmers market and my produce bill is really much lower.

I've also decided to do a leptin reset. Which pretty much means eat A LOT OF MEAT. This I can do! (BIG SMILE)

I've been eating pretty much paleo for about a month now and I have to say I do feel much better!

So, tonight I have a second sleep study! Yay for me! It seems even though I don't snore, don't keep my boyfriend awake, don't wake up coughing, etc etc that I have sleep apnea (sigh). That means tonight I get to go put all the shit on me again and see what happens if I use a machine.

My friend who has sleep apnea had me go to one of the equipment websites. Do you know they have machines in pink? WHY? (sigh) So, my evening should be fun and sleepless. (smile)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I Haz a Sad

Yep, I get sad's sometimes. Today it was something that had nothing to do with me. My boyfriend was able to cheer me up though!

Me: "I got my feelings hurt"
Him: "What happened?"
Me:"People. It's my fault I'm being a girl."
Him:"Fuck em."
Me:"Not that easy."
Him:"Listen all I need is you and that's enough. So, I don't worry about other people. You shouldn't worry about other people either."

He's not perfect but he is a keeper. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Food Glorious Food!

I am a huge believer that fad diets don't work. I also don't believe all of the hype that surrounds the touted MS diets i.e., stay away from gluten because it inflames you! This makes me picture very angry swollen organs and blood vessels stomping around inside my body, looking pissed off.

The main gist of this is to avoid grains because our ancestors (cavemen) did not eat grains. They were meat and veggies. I'm not sure how they explain Asians (pointing at my mom) and how they're not all inflamed (grrr angry artery) and suffering from celiacs disease, but I digress.

I personally have always eaten low carb. I actually don't even know if what I do is technically low carb or if I eat correctly compared to the majority of Americans. I think the problem with most of western culture is that we eat in excess. This could lead to a tirade about entitlement and how we feel that excess is the norm but that is for another blog post.

I've been reading about the Paleo diet recently and while I don't agree with a lot of it's claims and statements. I will say I've come away with a desire to change a few things about how I eat.

  • I'm making the switch to totally grass fed meats, free range chicken, and wild caught fish.
Free Range Eggs ooooo ahhhh

This makes more sense to me. I've done this off and on but I've never fully committed to it. I've been eating this for the past month and in all honesty - it tastes better (I'll talk about cost in a bit). It's also a healthier way for the animals to be raised. 

  • I'm staying away from Dairy. 
This is more of a me thing. I'm a bit lactose intolerant and I should have been doing this previously. I will eat some dairy for example in my coffee, and Greek yogurt is yummy and doesn't upset my tummy. However, I'm going to stay away from milk in general. 

  • Limiting grains.

Again this is more of a me thing. I have blood sugar issues and the carbs are just not worth it. I could never not eat rice EVER AGAIN but that might be the only grain I do eat. This is also a me thing. I don't think grain is making my arteries angry but for me it will help my blood sugar.

  • More veggies! 
I've never eaten enough veggies but I've been going to the local farmers market and I've rediscovered vegetables. The veggies you get at the store have no taste to me. I thought it meant that I was just not fond of vegetables. After eating more farmers market fare I've realized that that is not the case. It's also really upped my cooking. I love to cook and fresh makes everything taste so much better!

  • Eat more fat!
I never eat margarine. I don't get it and I never will. I did however limit how much fat I was ingesting. I am now going to slowly add more fat to my diet. For example, yogurt is a great recovery food for runners but not the low fat kind. They don't know why exactly but the low or no fat yogurt does not help the body as much as the whole fat versions post run. I'm not going to slather everything in butter and lard but I am going to eat healthy fats. Nut fats, avocado, and ghee (clarified butter) are all on my list!

Now, I know everyone is thinking "That's awesome nut job but you're going to be broke!" and to them I say "pshaw". In all honesty the cost of meats are not that much higher then what you're paying for in the grocery store. One of the best quotes I've heard regarding this from a young kid. I'm sorry that I don't remember his name but he's young and is passionate about whole living (I will find his name). 

When asked this question his response was something to the effect of "Pay for it now or pay for it later with medical co-pays". I agree. 

This also goes back to the whole "eating to much" issue we seem to have. For example right now at Whole Foods ground beef is 4.99 a lb. and wild caught salmon is 9.99 a lb. The prices seem pretty comparable to me. The ground beef costs less right now then at my local Publix. You don't need 8 lbs of ground beef! So, now get some veggies and call it a day! 

So, in reality I am doing a Paleo diet. Lets see how it makes me feel and how my blood sugar reacts. Yeah this means you guys will have to listen to me talk about it (big smile).

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Even with MS you can get Hella Laid* (adult content ahead)

(*This is not my title. My good friend Achariya gave it to me! Look at her blog! Achariya Writes.) 

Yep, people with MS have sex. Lots of mind blowing amazing sex. I guess your results may vary depending on the partner you have, but if it's mind blowing and amazing it should stay that way! I did worry that I was broken for awhile. MS effects so much I thought that it would be just something else. Nope!

I'm sure my boyfriend is pretty happy about this as well. Well, I'm positive he is. I think it's also pretty important that you have someone that's sexually competent and compatible with you - This is a general rule for everyone (Going to brag about my boyfriend here for a minute).

This is not my mans first time to the dance and it's so nice to have someone that knows how to dance. Hours and I'm not exaggerating HOURS. It's also nice that we have the same tastes. Makes it much easier to enjoy the hours (wink).

OK, done bragging.

People with chronic illnesses do have a really nice sex life. I think this goes hand in hand about your outlook though. If you're depressed and feel down about yourself, your sex life is going to suffer.

There have been times that I haven't wanted to or haven't been able to have sex. I do get tired or there is something else going on. For example - sometimes I don't have enough strength to be as adventurous as I want to be or to just be on top. Which means he has to do more work but he's willing to do that for me.

I've never had a problem telling him that I can't do something or that I'm having a low energy night. He's always very understanding. If your significant other is not, then it's time to kick that person to the curb. How can you be with someone who would be abusive to you for something you cannot control?

The main point of this little blog is that YES people with MS have sex lives and good ones (smile). 

Monday, April 16, 2012

Date Night Shock and Awe

My guy and I went out on a date last night. I made the mistake of saying "I want to do things with you." which was me expressing that I wanted to be with him and say go to a farmers market or walk in the park (girl things). What he heard was "You suck! We never go on dates". So, he made it a point of going on a date with me last night. Which was a surprise and very sweet (awe part).

Not wanting to drive all over the place, we stayed pretty close to where I live. Since I've been on a diet I thought something horrible would be good to eat (BIG SMILE). This means we went to Chili's (laughing). No, he's not cheap. I could have asked to go anywhere but Chili's was what I was craving, and I didn't want him to spend a lot of money. We have other things to do later in the month!

We have Fajitas, he has a beer, I have a diet coke. We laugh, we joke, we talk, we tell stories of our weekends and I talk about the amazing farmers market/plant show I went too.

He gets the bill and it's $45 (this is where the record would skip if this was a bad sitcom - and for those keeping track the shock part).


Somehow, we spent $45 on food at Chili's. We should have gone somewhere else for that price! What the hell did we eat? GOLD Fajitas?! Better have been grass fed Kobe Beef! I like Chili's but what the hell did we pay for?

We're going to Cafe Tu Tu Tango next and actually eating something interesting for forty-five bucks! (Yes I would have cooked, but it was a date and he wanted to take me out. I could have cooked a feast for that much! Next time...)

Friday, April 6, 2012

The Ayes Have it.

Here's a story about MY last two days.

Tuesday I realize that I can't see so well. I was looking at nutritional labels and had to hold the can of tomatoes at arms like - as if I had presbyopia. Funny in January I didn't need bifocals.

Wed. I go to work and the eyes seem to be worse. Well shit. I call my doctor and get appointments and freak out. I have MS so I'm thinking "Well shit I guess I'm going to lose my sight for awhile. YAY!".

I go get an MRI testing blah blah blah. I went to my old eye doctor and he says nope nothing wrong. I go to a neuro-opthamologist today and get poked and prodded. She's then like...let me see your prescription. She does an exam, looks at my glasses, gets my old records faxed from my eye doctor, and....My eyes are better then they were. *blink blink*.

Let me restate that. My vision is BETTER then it was three months ago. Now...I've been running and training seriously lately. As well as eating much better (Paleo all the way!) but...there is no reason my eyes should have that much improvement.

We can't figure out why that would be the case but we're going to chalk it up to "We found it so we can fix it and you don't have optic neuritis" (bad thing with the optic nerve lots of ow ow and going blind for a bit).

I'm...happy(?) that my eyes are better but a little confused (shrug).

Yay for random things that happen to me!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

What is Love - Revisited

I've asked this question before but I want to revisit it today. As you grow up you have a pretty set idea about love. I know I did. As I've gotten older this view of love has changed. In the past year I've revisited the topic introspectively and I've made a few conclusions.

Love doesn't give a shit - Love comes at you from the wrong places, when you least expect it, but maybe, when you need it the most.

Love hurts - Not just a little hurt but bawl your eyes out want to die hurt. If you don't get upset you were never in love with that person. There is no perfect love where nothing goes wrong. If you don't hurt sometimes you're not really in love.

Love can overcome anything - No matter how shitty you feel about yourself or how you feel that no one wants you. There is love out there for you. Having MS is a biggie and when someone can overlook major things like that, love is there.

Love is about someone taking your shit (and you taking theirs) - Everyone's got shit. You can't be an adult and not have SOME type of shit. You find that person that makes laser gun noises when he sleeps or clucks like a chicken while he's taking a poop, and he's crazy, but he's your crazy. If everything about him bothers you, or when you do something crazy he dismisses you and ignores you, there is no love there.

Love makes you Jealous - Now I'm not talking about find a person and cut their tires, as you key your name into their door panel. I'm talking about that "That's MINE." feeling you have when someone looks at your guy or girl.

Love annoys other people - Others who want what you have will act differently. It's an odd experience.

Love is one of the most horrible experiences in life but is also one of the most amazing.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

The Lifting of the Fatigue (Angels Sing Hallelujahs!! Trumpets Playing)

I've had crushing fatigue for a month or more. I've been working around it and trying to figure out ways to combat it. Nothing was really working. I woke up today and needed to run to the grocery store, post office (PO Box I needed to check), and a few other places.

As I'm running around I realize something. I'm not feeling overwhelming fatigue! YAY!!!

My fog seems to have lifted a bit! This makes me very happy and I hope it continues. I did take a nap when I got home (laughing) but at least I didn't sleep 30 hours this weekend. (smile)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

No, I'm Not Tired

I'm not tired at all. I have mind numbing, bone aching fatigue.

Those not familiar with the feeling will never know how horrible it really is. Tired does not cover it, although that's the only feeling most can relate too. Pretend you have the flu, that horrible weak feeling you get, and then pretend someone has forced you to walk around an amusement park in the heat all day, and then at the end of that day you ran 5 miles.

Now times that by 10.

Yes it is that bad. Not all the time but right now I feel like I can't move. I go to the doctor and I feel like I've worked an 8 hour day and went for a run after I played with my god daughter for an hour or so. I have not felt like this since I was first diagnosed over two years ago and this is kicking my ass.

For me, a person with MS who does a lot and exercises, works full time, and manages a second business, stopping and resting is hard. Not stopping and resting has lead to this. Fighting it for the past two and a half weeks, I fell asleep at the stoplight on my way home from work. I'm lucky I didn't fall asleep on the ride home.  Trust me when I say it was touch and go for awhile and that I really took a chance driving home that day.

I was having nightmares and not sleeping at all but instead of taking it easy and staying home to rest, I went to work and tried to push through it. Someone without MS would have been exhausted and stupid for doing what I was doing. With MS I really put myself in a bad situation.

Now I have to rest. (smile) My body is going to force me to rest. To my chagrin I admit I did this to myself. Well MS did it to me but I know better.

I'm not mad or depressed. It is what it is. I'm a bit frustrated with myself but there is nothing I can do about it now except not do it again. So I will rest and admit I can't do it this week. The fog will lift soon and I will take my Nuvigil and see if it helps me break through quicker.

I still walk with my pups, no running of course, which I will admit I was doing until just yesterday (silly smile) but no work and no driving until I'm sure I wont fall asleep.

Here is to MS everyone and to learning the lesson again that it is OK to slow down sometimes!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

I just happen to have MS.

I haven't spoken about my MS in awhile. I was reading someone’s discussion about their MS and it rubbed me the wrong way. So, I wanted to talk about my MS a little bit more here in the hopes that it adds a bit of light to someone.

I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (RRMS) on September 8 2009. The diagnosis came after I had some vision issues. MS has affected my life but in general, life is the same as it was before my diagnosis.

I get fatigued and I have little aches and pains and dizzy but those things happened before my diagnosis. My diagnosis date did not mark a point in which all of a sudden my MS got worse. I had MS for years before my diagnosis and giving a name to my disease with a date of diagnosis has not made it any worse. I would like to bring up a few points related to this.

I am not trying to get on disability. My diagnosis is not an instant signal that I need to be on disability. I still work a full time job that I enjoy. Do I get fatigued sometimes? Yes but that happened before too, do I get headaches or dizzy? Yes but again, those symptoms happened before my diagnosis. Just because I have MS does not mean I cannot work.

Overall, I’m fine. Yes, overall I’m fine. I get sick sometimes a little dizzy if I’m over tired, fatigued, and sometimes some pain but overall fine. I could complain about every little thing that happens to me but there is no reason to do that. You work around your limitations not focus on them and complain about them. Many people have trials to deal with such as arthritis, cancer, and a multitude of other chronic problems.  I’m not the only one out there with a chronic disorder. It is annoying but it’s something we all deal with.

I could sit here, whine, and complain. I could cry and lay down in bed all day. I could wax poetic and ask “Why me” until I work myself up in a tizzy. My choice and yes it is a choice is to be proactive in the management of my disease and to live on Sept 9 2009 as I did on September 7 2009 the day before my diagnosis.

You can whine, complain, and give up or you can try to find a work around to live the best life you can.

Everyone has bad days. Everyone feels sorry for themselves from time to time but that is no way to live. Why someone would chose to live like that is beyond me.  

I have a full and fulfilling life. I have fun and I do things I want to do. I have a boyfriend and some great friends around me. I travel, I run, and play the guitar. I take care of my two crazy Boxers and go shopping in my spare time while trying to get to my art class.

I just happen to have MS 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Diabetes - She has it (Weight an Health Rant)

I'm sure some of you have heard that Paula Deen has Type 2 diabetes. If not you can find a news article about it below.

Paula Deen

Why did she hide it for three years? I believe it was to keep her cooking show a float. I also believe that she would not have discussed it if she were not employed by Norvo Nordisk. A drug manufacturer Deen is partnering with to help them promote diabetes awareness.

I believe that everyone has a right to live their lives how they see fit with one exception - celebrities.  You choose to be in the spotlight and if you're popular you are paid well for that. You are now out there and your decisions and the things you do will be in the spotlight.

If you are a chef that cooks everything with butter and eats as unhealthy as she does as well as consumes a lot of alcohol how do you not let people know you have diabetes? Yes it's a personal choice yadda yadda but then don't then decide to be an advocate for the disease.

A big part of being an advocate is not being perfect and not being 100% the queen of your disease management, but you are now looking to be a role model for others. At this point you need to be making healthy life choices and living well.

How does anything about how she eats or live portray that?

Butter, alcohol, more food, and not exercising is her whole life. I know we would all love to believe that we can eat and do whatever we want and not have any ill health effects. Well guess what? That's not true.

Being obese will hurt you, eating butter all day long with sugar and whiskey will hurt you, and that is that. Am I perfect? Nope I gotta lose weight and I should be exercising more and sometimes I don't make the best food choices. I am not however trying to sell a cooking show where all I cook is fried butter and then promote myself as a healthy diabetic.

I'm really tired of people who lie to themselves and everyone else. Ya know what sometimes what you're doing is NOT healthy and you should NOT be doing it.

I have MS and because of that I have to make life choices for myself. I could sit on my butt all day and do nothing but how would that help me? I'm an MS advocate and I would be a LIAR if I told people that MS was livable and then I crawled into a huge hole of denial. I would be a LIAR if I told people that I worked out to help my fatigue and that I take my medication because I feel like it's a way for me to fight my disease, and did neither.

So Ms. Deen, excuse me if I find this ridiculous but pin a rose on yourself because this lady sure wont.

Monday, January 16, 2012


I had a weird experience earlier today. I was out and I felt very emotionally overwhelmed. I was sitting at the doctors office waiting for my appointment and trying to pinpoint the reason. Was it the fact that I was at the doctor? No. I had gotten enough rest and I didn't have work today.

Then it dawned on met. For me smells bring about memories and feelings. I realized that I used a hair product today that I hadn't used in months. When I was using it lots of things were going on and I think the smell brought all of that back.

I don't think I'll be using that stuff again. Egads!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Dogs and Children

I had a wonderful boxer dog named Gia. She was an amazing puppy and just like my child. She died in December and it broke my heart.

I was going to remain dogless but the Boxer Rescue contacted me. I had put in an application to adopt a boxer about a week before Gia passed away.

They had two boys who were abandoned together and were so bonded that they could not be seperated. So after thinking about it....

Welcome home Kobe (the brindle) and Ben (the fawn). (BIG SMILE)

...or the beatings will continue

As everyone who reads my blogs knows I have MS.

One of the big issues I have with MS are muscle issues. It's akin to someone putting a hot ball bearing, of various sizes, into my back. The last bad one was an orange sized ball bearing burning it's way through my back under my shoulder.

To make these wonderful little balls of love go away - I get therapeutic deep tissue massage. I also do fascial release because the fascia in my back, shoulders, and hips are just insane. Fascia is connective tissue around the muscles for those that don't know.

Well I went on Friday to get this done because a ball of love was taking residence in my shoulder, again. No one ever pushes hard enough or gets deep enough for me. It's a PITA procedure and if they don't push hard enough the muscle wont release. For example, for the orange sized ball bearing, I had a 300lb guy with his knee on the massage table pressing into my shoulder with his elbo.

I call to make an appointment and I find out he's gone back to Boston now (sad face). I ask for someone else and I get girl for this appointment. Now, I'm not saying girls are wimpy but most of the woman I've had that give me a massage aren't strong enough/don't push hard enough.


She pushed hard enough alright and the ball bearings are gone but now I feel like I've been in a street fight. Which, funny enough does not feel as bad as the ball bearings but still bad.

One problem? My back and shoulders look like I've been in a street fight. I believe that the comments were "You should sue." "Did you complain?" "Did you really get in a street fight?" "Did someone beat you?" "Are you ok?!" and "People are going to think I beat you."

FYI No my boyfriend does not beat me.

I'd post pictures but lets try to save those faint of heart.

Maybe I should tell everyone I was attacked by a bear and I won!