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Lifestyle | KBeauty | Living with Multiple Sclerosis | Cancer Survivor | Beauty Blogger | My mind takes me to many places! Come along for the ride.


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Monday, December 12, 2011

I give up!

@#*&$@#(*Y&#@)(*&$#@(*Y)#(!*&$!)@#($*!@)(@!&*#Y^%#($)(@%#@)(%#&@$ (this is a stream of cuss words)

Lets go over the last 4 weeks of my life from Nov 13th or so. Come with me now (in a Jamaican accent motioning with my hand.

I get sick and I think it's a cold, so I leave work on Monday and rest to try to get rid of it. I don't know what it is but it's not just a little cold. No it's a cold demon that has posessed me and because I am not an exorcist I get hospitalized because I can't breathe. Funny when you can't breathe the ER doctor does not listen to your assurances that you are OK to go home.

I get out of the hospital and then before I am able to go back to work my dog gets sick and has to have emergency surgery. After five days of fighting we had to put her down last week. Needless to say I'm heartbroken and I have cried every day because of it.

Just a few moments ago I find out that my mother has totaled her car. Thank goodness my mother is OK but I think this means my mother wont be able to drive anymore. Which means I need to figure out how she's going to get to work and what needs to be done.

OK, I give up. I've hit rock bottom and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm a Christian so I believe in giving my troubles to God. Well I am and I have but I have to say that I cannot keep going at this rate. I can't do it. I need help.

I am a positive person and I do love my life, but I cannot keep this pace up. I don't know what has to give but something has too and if I don't get some kind of help what's going to break is me. I am so close to the edge I can feel the stones crumbling under my feet.

So I put this out there and hope that my prayers are heard or God has some angels reading blogs now, because I cannot keep up this pace. I just can't.

Oh FYI my MS is going GREAT just for a silver lining. lol