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Lifestyle | KBeauty | Living with Multiple Sclerosis | Cancer Survivor | Beauty Blogger | My mind takes me to many places! Come along for the ride.

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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Bat-shit Crazy

I am sick at the moment. Now, I will be fine but every time I get sick I get pissy.  For those that are not aware of this I have MS (pointing up – look at the marathon info). I’m very healthy with it and have no huge issues. I get fatigue, random pains, and little problems now and then but overall I’m fonzie. 

I however have gotten pretty sick in the past and I’m rather cranky and not happy when I’m sick. On Wednesday my arm started to hurt and my fingers went a bit numb. Eh, not something I get too worried about. Thursday fingers are worse and more painful, now I’m getting annoyed. Thursday night it gets worse and Friday morning is almost unbearable. 

This means that on Thursday I turn in to a little lunatic. I’m usually fine when I’m sick but I get crazy when its MS related. If I’m going to be a hundred percent honest, it scares the shit out of me. My mind always takes me to the worst place possible. I’m going to be in a wheel chair and disabled and unable to talk or move or feed myself etc. I’ll be like that guy in monkey shines who is disabled and gets a “helper” monkey but the monkey is insane and kills people.

Because, if anyone will get an insane homicidal monkey to help them once they are paralyzed, it will be me. 

So, I get a little crazy with the MS. I also get very needy, like a 2 year old child. I want someone to care and coddle me. Yes it’s not fair but at least I know that’s what I’m doing (sweet innocent smile). This can be a little disconcerting for people around me who have not known me that long. See, in general I’m pretty stoic with things that bother me. I’m also a pretty happy go lucky person and I like to laugh and joke around. When I’m sick I get quite, the laughing happy go lucky person kinda goes away, and I turn into angry girl. Usually I can hide in my cube at work, no one will bother me, and I can analyze things lol. 

This week though I had meetings every bleeding day. Now, people who know me know I can have little patience for people. At work this is not the case and I know I need to explain things to people because of the type of work I do. However, nice me is gone and bat-shit crazy me is in charge. 

I didn’t say or do anything bad but let’s say that I was pushing the mute button a lot and meditating in the lunchroom lol. I think I might have scared most of the people I work with who I’m friends with. They kept asking me if I was ok and asking me if I was going to die. Which was funny and I laughed but obviously I was not acting ok. 

I will also say this; if not for some of my coworkers I might be crazy now. One woman even hugged me on Friday because she said I needed one and poor Alan the new Navy guy’s story…laughing hysterically.

While I am feeling better the feeling of wanting someone to be there for me and to cuddle with when I’m sick is staying. This is just going to make my life more complicated and if anyone knows me they know I have enough complicated already for 200 lifetimes.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Tucson Tragedy

This is going to be a little political and I apologize to anyone who does not share the same views. I am catching up on the news from this week. What happened was a tragedy and to use this as a political chess piece is shameful. A few points that I am going to raise from this are below. I am sure people will get angry at what I’m going to say. Sorry if you do but go meditate and get over it.

We need gun control.

Yes, yes it is our constitutional right to bare yadda yadda yadda. I agree and I know this might be shocking but I own guns. Do I own an Uzi? No. Do I think I’ll ever have the need for an automatic weapon? I’m guessing no but never say never.

I also don’t post YouTube videos about how I’m going to kill people or have a history of severe mental illness. Sometimes, in life it’s a good idea not to let certain people do certain things. I don’t give children lighter fluid and matches and I think maybe people, who have homicidal tendencies and are asked to leave school until they can prove they are mentally fit, should not be able to buy guns.

I’m the first one to say if I ever snap and I start posting crazy YouTube videos you should come to my house and take my guns away. At that point I have lost my right to have guns. This is not a hard concept to follow. I say I want to kill people you take away my guns.

Do I think stricter laws will stop all the gun problems in the US? No. However, at least as a Nation we have preformed our due diligence to try to keep the guns out of the hands of people who should not have them.

Yes, I said it some people should not have guns. As well, if you need an automatic weapon to duck hunt get a new hobby, you’re not very good.

Being an extremist is not good.

I don’t care what political party you subscribe too or what ideation you believe you are, there are extremists on all sides. I know that I take for granted that people are rational and have common sense, but can we try? 

What the hell happened to being moderate and on the even keel? We are either bat shit crazy or we don’t care about the country. When did this happen?

If shows like The Jersey Shore can influence people (and it does) why would you believe that as a political figure you would not have some influence on individuals? Personal responsibility yes but we also can’t yell fire in a packed movie theater.  You should not censor your speech and telling individuals to take action is fine, putting cross hairs on maps with people’s names and identifying the state and location however…(shrug).

I don’t care if you get your feelings hurt.

You are a politician. You say things to illicit responses and maybe you make some bad decisions about how you put across your ideas. I don’t care if it comes back to bite you later. You have no right to whine about it. This goes back to personal responsibility. If I make a bad decision and a poor choice that is no one’s fault but my own.  People whine all the time - How life isn’t fair and the devil made me do it. It’s not my fault I can’t get a job it’s (insert whatever here).

Grow up. You’re playing with the big boys now. You made a choice to be a politician you need to put on your big boy pants and deal. If you make a mistake say YES I made a mistake. Don’t whine about how you’re so hurt and upset that someone would DARE call you to task.

People are looking for normal.

I will end with this. If you are ‘normal’ and can make educated decisions, are not an extremist, can admit when you’ve made a mistake, and have a brain in that head of yours, you should run for political office.

I think most people want someone like that.

I could be wrong but let’s try it!