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Lifestyle | KBeauty | Living with Multiple Sclerosis | Cancer Survivor | Beauty Blogger | My mind takes me to many places! Come along for the ride.

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Saturday, January 5, 2013

I Don't Look Sick but Then Again You Don't Look Stupid, Yet Here We Are

I have Multiple Sclerosis. If you read my ramblings you probably already caught on to this. If not then I've just outed myself for you. However, that diagnosis does not define me as a person. I also, work, go out with friends, exercise, sing, draw, laugh, travel, get funky, dance in circles, cook (a lot), am a foodie, follow the Paleo diet, enjoy teasing my Korean mother, make fun of my dogs and harass them, geek out, go to school, am a girlfriend, and probably do and am a few other things. I have fun! I just happen to also have MS.

I always get the "You don't look sick" comment. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to look like but me. Actually, in my Physical Therapists office there is one of those amazing medical posters. You know the kind that lists symptoms or shows you why your eye is falling out of your head. This one has this young pretty woman on it (before MS) who then gets diagnosed (After MS) who then is all screwed up! She can't dress, as evident by her pink over sized sweater and ankle length green skirt. She no longer has a smile on her face and her hair is now flat and lifeless. She is also standing in a random kitchen cause I guess that's where we hang out after we're diagnosed (side eye). Maybe THIS is what I should look like! Then people would nod and say "OH yeah I get it you have MS. I saw that poster!".

That's not me. I do have a handicapped placard in my car though. It's this cool hang tag that I can take with me if I'm someone else's car. I don't look sick but I do have MS. I have insane fatigue sometimes and my legs can ache so bad I just want to sleep to make it go away. Can you see that? No, but it's there. What I don't need is some idiot yelling at me because I'm using my "Grandmothers handicapped parking" or cursing me out for being a horrible human.

OK, listen you people who stick your nose in other peoples business. First off you have NO idea who I am or what I might have. Same goes for other people parking in the handicapped spaces. Keep your judgments to yourself and focus on your own issues. Second, lets trade. You get to have the chronic medical condition and then the handicapped tag, and I'll not have MS.

Trust me you judgmental person. I would rather not have this disease or this tag. I didn't even use it for a month because I didn't want to get harassed about it. You can take it and my disease because trust me if I had a choice I'd rather not have MS.

I would rather not worry that one day out of the blue I wont be able to walk, or that my eyes will go out on me again. I would rather not have fatigue so bad that I miss things like my god daughters birthday or other social events. I would rather not have to give myself a shot every day that burns like a bee sting. I would prefer that my immune system wasn't attacking my nerves, eating away the myelin and causing a multitude of problems that could change at any time.

So, here is my deal with you random parking lot screamer. You can have my handicapped tag and my MS and I'll park a few spaces further away. Ready to switch?

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