Fear and Loathing in Orlando

Today I am in pain and I want to vent. I was wondering why I was so tired yesterday. My body was telling me I had done too much, and now I am paying for it (laugh).

Let us discuss pain for a moment. As I have discussed here before, I have Multiple Sclerosis. Instead of giving you a big huge definition - it is where you body eats away your nervous system. I think that is succinct. Funny enough you need your nervous system. Crazy huh?

When the body attacks itself, it leaves lesions (scars). Lesions can go away after time, can stay, can form black holes (just dead tissue), and new ones can appear when you are having an active flare. You can also have pseudo-flares (which I have discussed before) which is really just your symptoms coming out to say hi. I have many pseudo-flares because of the heat in Florida.

I have always had neck, shoulder, and arm pain. I have spent a small fortune trying to find a good pillow and replacing mattresses. Now I realize that it is not how or where I am sleeping, it is actually the MS. I have noticed that I get very bad muscle spasms, and now I am noticing that I get very bad shoulder/neck pains when I have other issues going on with my right hand/wrist. What I think is happening is that I am having spasms while I sleep.

I wake up this morning in pain. YAY for me! I try for over an hour to relieve some of it but nothing. Now, I am not a wimp when it comes to pain. I have had doctors ask me how it was I was still walking around previously. Therefore, this hurts. HURTS I say. It feels like someone has inserted a burning orange sized metal ball bearing between my spine shoulder and neck, right there where the three connect. I’m guessing it’s sort of like a charley horse that needs someone to pound on it.

I have taken some medicine, which has kept me from getting a migraine, and the burning is gone from the area but not the throbbing pain.

So here I sit with nothing to do about my pain.

In general, MS does not get me down. I think it would be different if I had something to do but I am rather bored and all I can do is focus on this pain.

However, I am still going to exercise and have fun (smile). Pain can’t stop me!!!