There are many things I’ve learned in the past two and a half years. After my father passed I started living the way I wanted to live. I took my first plane ride. I even went across to the opposite end of the country to meet up with someone I’d never met face to face, just because.
I’ve learned that time never stands still and that it keeps rolling forward with or without you. I’ve been running, quite literally, with that time until recently. For months now I have been stuck in a holding pattern and as hard as I’ve been trying to catch back up, I always seem to be stumbling.
MS exacerbations (multiple), breast lumps, and breaking my foot in addition to dealing with life in general, has left me at a standstill. I look around sometimes and realize the distance between where I am and where time is has grown significantly. When and why did I stop? Hard to answer that question but I know I let things bog me down until I couldn’t move anymore. Good things and bad things. I suppose everyone has those times in life I think sometimes the kick start is harder to push because of rust.
My friend of 25 years passed away this past week and her funeral was today. It was very beautiful and all the love and support that was there for her family was breathtaking. Her daughter, who I’ve known since she was in diapers, is now an articulate woman. As I sat there watching the video presentation that showed glimpses of my friend’s life the rust started to fall off of that kick stand.
This evening as I sat in my home contemplating life, friendship, love, and praying for guidance the rest of the rust fell off. I looked up and I realized that I had started moving along with life again.
Does it mean that from now on I will be perfect and life will be perfect? No, not even close but what it does mean is that I’m back in the race and not watching it pass me by. Isn’t it odd how celebrating a life can lead you to your own again?
I love you Shannon. Thank you.