Rock Me Like a Small Storm, Not a Hurricane of Drama

My life is interesting to say the least. I’ve had an insane amount of life altering things happen to me and my close friends in recent years. It’s really easy to say “Why me?” or to focus on the negative. I’ve been guilty of that reaction many times, especially when I’m very stressed out and feeling sick - Which is every time I’m extremely stressed out. What I’ve done recently to combat that is to not get involved in things that don’t impact my life. If I can’t control it I let it go.

I also find that some people make their own drama, look for drama, or have drama on speed dial. These people actively invite drama into their lives, for whatever reason makes sense to them. I try to limit my contact or dealing with this type of drama. If I have to decide if I have enough energy to take a shower or deal with made up stuff, shower wins EVERY time. 

My drama is a zombie stalker. It finds me and attacks me out of the blue. I kill it every time but since it’s a zombie it comes back. I try to limit that drama by shooting the stalker before it gets to me. It will still come back but at least I nipped it in the bud before it could hurt me too much. I bought a shiny new gun for that purpose. It has hello kitty on it and shoots skittles. It works quite well against zombies. 

I joke a lot and some people take offense. The thing is things are not that serious. If I say I don’t like that movie it’s not some kind of comment on your level of education which relates to your viewing habits, and since I dislike it, I am saying that I find you to be the dumbest person in the world. This is a very long dramatic walk down a winding road when all I meant was “I don’t like that movie”. I try to limit my contact with these people. In the past I would try to explain that no, I did not mean you were stupid. I realize now that this is something internal and I can’t do anything about it. 

The things that everyone goes through are all things I will support my friends through. These are small storms in a much bigger life. The hurricanes that you make up, “I can’t talk to Bob because I think Bob doesn’t like me because he took my seat at lunch the other day and I am SURE he’s the one that took my lunch out of the fridge. I’m not going to let him know I know but he knows, and because of that I think maybe he poisoned my cat that seemed a little lethargic the other night. Will you help me find his address?” drama, I refuse to deal with. 

MS and Crazy Weird Things

MS is a fun disease which has no rhyme or reason, can be different from one day to another, and can be different from person to person. Me and most of my MSy friends (KC 11 REPRESENT!) are doing fine with our MS. We all have our problems of course but we live well, enjoy our lives, and are positive people.

We're kinda like this maybe a bit louder.

I'm out of work for at least six weeks. Why you ask? Cause I'm sick. This is the really fun part of MS when you get sick for no reason. The worst thing? You don't look sick. Yes it's one of those catch 22 situations. You're sick and want to work but you don't look sick and can't work. So, everyone judges you and you get to feel even worse about not working and being sick. 

I have a bad habit of pushing myself to much. This last time I kept pushing and my eyes finally checked out. That means I get this awesome double vision that looks like a bad TV screen that's not in tune. I also know that a lot of younger people wont remember rabbit ears on a TV set. Look it up it's funny. 

I also have a habit of telling people that I'm fine. I don't know if it's because I've been taught not to seem week (thank you Asian upbringing) or if I just don't want people in my business, but I never ask for help and I'm always "fine". 

My boyfriend has now started asking follow-up questions. Goes like this: "How are you today?" 

"I'm fine."

"Oh OK." We talk about something else. 

"So, how are you really?"

This gets me to laugh a little and tell him what's really going on. When we first started dating he would get upset because I'd need help or be sick and he had no Idea. I'm working on that and he asks follow-ups now to help me (smile)

For the past few days I've been in a tremendous amount of pain. My shoulder, and more specifically my rotator cuff was irritated. What this means to me is that it feels like my arm is going to rip itself out of it's socket. I also can't sleep, move, type, scratch my nose...

I hate taking narcotics but on Saturday when I could not sleep or find a sitting, standing, or laying position without pain I went to the Emergency Clinic. I got some strong anti-inflammatory and some pain medication. Narcotic of course. 

Fast forward five days later and I can sleep and scratch my nose! I should have put my stubbornness behind me and asked for help earlier. So, I have decided to ask for more help and admit I'm sick and suffering from pain and fatigue and other MS crap. I'm still happy and in a good mood and I know this will pass and I'll be back at it like I was before. For now though it's OK to rest. Just like if I had the flu the only difference is that no one else can see this illness.

Don't judge me to harshly people who don't know what's going on with me and I'll try to do the same for you. 

Dog Abuse! (not them me)

Love my huge boxers. They are 100 lbs of puppy love. Yes they are that big and they're not obese just HUGE. I love them to death but since I've gotten them they have decided that they love me SO MUCH that they want to be on top of me and hug me. This leads to doctors asking me "Have you been running through brambles?".

Today my legs were lovingly scratched today when one of them tried to stand on my lap. He also somehow scratched my chest when he tried to 'shake hands'. So, now I look like a victim of domestic violence. This is dog abuse in reverse!