Bat-shit Crazy

I am sick at the moment. Now, I will be fine but every time I get sick I get pissy.  For those that are not aware of this I have MS (pointing up – look at the marathon info). I’m very healthy with it and have no huge issues. I get fatigue, random pains, and little problems now and then but overall I’m fonzie. 

I however have gotten pretty sick in the past and I’m rather cranky and not happy when I’m sick. On Wednesday my arm started to hurt and my fingers went a bit numb. Eh, not something I get too worried about. Thursday fingers are worse and more painful, now I’m getting annoyed. Thursday night it gets worse and Friday morning is almost unbearable. 

This means that on Thursday I turn in to a little lunatic. I’m usually fine when I’m sick but I get crazy when its MS related. If I’m going to be a hundred percent honest, it scares the shit out of me. My mind always takes me to the worst place possible. I’m going to be in a wheel chair and disabled and unable to talk or move or feed myself etc. I’ll be like that guy in monkey shines who is disabled and gets a “helper” monkey but the monkey is insane and kills people.

Because, if anyone will get an insane homicidal monkey to help them once they are paralyzed, it will be me. 

So, I get a little crazy with the MS. I also get very needy, like a 2 year old child. I want someone to care and coddle me. Yes it’s not fair but at least I know that’s what I’m doing (sweet innocent smile). This can be a little disconcerting for people around me who have not known me that long. See, in general I’m pretty stoic with things that bother me. I’m also a pretty happy go lucky person and I like to laugh and joke around. When I’m sick I get quite, the laughing happy go lucky person kinda goes away, and I turn into angry girl. Usually I can hide in my cube at work, no one will bother me, and I can analyze things lol. 

This week though I had meetings every bleeding day. Now, people who know me know I can have little patience for people. At work this is not the case and I know I need to explain things to people because of the type of work I do. However, nice me is gone and bat-shit crazy me is in charge. 

I didn’t say or do anything bad but let’s say that I was pushing the mute button a lot and meditating in the lunchroom lol. I think I might have scared most of the people I work with who I’m friends with. They kept asking me if I was ok and asking me if I was going to die. Which was funny and I laughed but obviously I was not acting ok. 

I will also say this; if not for some of my coworkers I might be crazy now. One woman even hugged me on Friday because she said I needed one and poor Alan the new Navy guy’s story…laughing hysterically.

While I am feeling better the feeling of wanting someone to be there for me and to cuddle with when I’m sick is staying. This is just going to make my life more complicated and if anyone knows me they know I have enough complicated already for 200 lifetimes.

Tucson Tragedy

This is going to be a little political and I apologize to anyone who does not share the same views. I am catching up on the news from this week. What happened was a tragedy and to use this as a political chess piece is shameful. A few points that I am going to raise from this are below. I am sure people will get angry at what I’m going to say. Sorry if you do but go meditate and get over it.

We need gun control.

Yes, yes it is our constitutional right to bare yadda yadda yadda. I agree and I know this might be shocking but I own guns. Do I own an Uzi? No. Do I think I’ll ever have the need for an automatic weapon? I’m guessing no but never say never.

I also don’t post YouTube videos about how I’m going to kill people or have a history of severe mental illness. Sometimes, in life it’s a good idea not to let certain people do certain things. I don’t give children lighter fluid and matches and I think maybe people, who have homicidal tendencies and are asked to leave school until they can prove they are mentally fit, should not be able to buy guns.

I’m the first one to say if I ever snap and I start posting crazy YouTube videos you should come to my house and take my guns away. At that point I have lost my right to have guns. This is not a hard concept to follow. I say I want to kill people you take away my guns.

Do I think stricter laws will stop all the gun problems in the US? No. However, at least as a Nation we have preformed our due diligence to try to keep the guns out of the hands of people who should not have them.

Yes, I said it some people should not have guns. As well, if you need an automatic weapon to duck hunt get a new hobby, you’re not very good.

Being an extremist is not good.

I don’t care what political party you subscribe too or what ideation you believe you are, there are extremists on all sides. I know that I take for granted that people are rational and have common sense, but can we try? 

What the hell happened to being moderate and on the even keel? We are either bat shit crazy or we don’t care about the country. When did this happen?

If shows like The Jersey Shore can influence people (and it does) why would you believe that as a political figure you would not have some influence on individuals? Personal responsibility yes but we also can’t yell fire in a packed movie theater.  You should not censor your speech and telling individuals to take action is fine, putting cross hairs on maps with people’s names and identifying the state and location however…(shrug).

I don’t care if you get your feelings hurt.

You are a politician. You say things to illicit responses and maybe you make some bad decisions about how you put across your ideas. I don’t care if it comes back to bite you later. You have no right to whine about it. This goes back to personal responsibility. If I make a bad decision and a poor choice that is no one’s fault but my own.  People whine all the time - How life isn’t fair and the devil made me do it. It’s not my fault I can’t get a job it’s (insert whatever here).

Grow up. You’re playing with the big boys now. You made a choice to be a politician you need to put on your big boy pants and deal. If you make a mistake say YES I made a mistake. Don’t whine about how you’re so hurt and upset that someone would DARE call you to task.

People are looking for normal.

I will end with this. If you are ‘normal’ and can make educated decisions, are not an extremist, can admit when you’ve made a mistake, and have a brain in that head of yours, you should run for political office.

I think most people want someone like that.

I could be wrong but let’s try it!

Did you know legs will talk to you?

Last weekend I skipped my long run. Well, not really skipped I walked it. I was sure I was getting a cold last week and to try to fight it off I decided not to stress my body out with a long run. I did walk 8 miles so I thought that was a good trade off. So, today was officially my second long run.

As everyone knows who lives in Florida, we don’t have hills. Since the Boston Marathon course is very hilly (is that word?) I’ve been trying work hills in slowly. Today I did that. Ooo, let me say that my legs are not use to hills and were quite confused. I really thought at the 3 mile mark that I would have to stop. However, I did something smart today. I usually run in a circle around my house. Keeps me safeish (I know that’s not a word) and I know how long I’m running. Today, with the use of my new iPhone app IMapyMyRun I ran down to the hilly area and towards the mall behind my house. Even if I wanted to quit at 3 miles, I had to run my butt back home. I suppose I could have slept on the road to Disney but I don’t think that would have worked.

My legs were not happy when they realized we had no choice but to continue. They wanted a shower and some Aleeve. They also told me that sleeping on 535 was not a good idea.

It’s funny how much you realize you can do when you have no choice. So, I kept running. At the 7 mile mark my legs no longer cared. It was actually pretty amazing. I felt so good when I got home I started to do the loop around my house. After doing an additional mile I still felt that I could keep going. Then sanity took over and I decided that walking this week would be nice, and that I didn’t want to injure myself.

So, my second long run went well. I feel amazing and Boston doesn’t seem to be such an unobtainable obstacle!

I had no idea

Well, I am training for the Boston Marathon. I had a great first long run and today was my pseudo long run by walking. There seems to be an evil cold trying to take a hold of my body but I think I’ve been able to beat it off pretty well. That includes me not running for the past two days. I keep telling myself a 7 mile walk is fine and its still 7 miles. However, because I’m not running the crazy voice in my head is screaming at me. Something about dying during the Boston Marathon and not being able to finish, disappointing everyone I know. Ya know, the normal things one thinks about.

To be honest, I’m a bit further along in the training process then I’m supposed to be. My first long run should have been only 3 miles the second 4 miles. Since I’m doing more than that, I think I’m going to be kosher.  I just have to keep reminding myself getting a cold and not being able to do anything is worse than walking 7 miles.

The point of this blog was not to wax poetic about my cold though. No honestly it wasn’t. It was to talk about food.

I love food don’t you? Well, I’ve been losing weight and I’m kind of at a standstill. Even with all the running and weight training. I realize that this is more than likely due to the fact that I’m not eating enough. Yeah, it’s hard to imagine not eating enough right?

Well, in the craziness of the past year, I fired my primary care physician.  Something about him calling me a hysterical female and giving me a prescription for xanex kind of turned me off. My friend kept telling me about her own doctor and how great she was. As well as the fact that she’s a competitive body builder - an interesting combo for a doctor.

Finally, after a year of procrastinating, I make an appointment with her doctor and it was amazing. She is the best doctor I have ever spoken with. She was understanding, actually listened to me and really cared about what I was doing.

She also understood that while I’m training for this marathon that I need more food! I find that most doctors don’t understand what it means to be running almost every day of the week, cross training, and doing long runs that can go up to 26 miles! Because of her background, she got it right away!

Her husband, who is also competes as a body builder, trains and gives out nutritional advice. So, I met with him and now I have a higher calorie diet that he believes will be much better for my activity level. I just finished preparing all of my food and I will be starting this wonderful plan tomorrow!

I started eating 5 times a day a few years back. Yes, it’s time consuming to cook that much but you have to in order to keep your metabolism up, and to help fuel your body. However, I wasn’t even close to eating enough. I might even need to eat more but for now we’re sticking to this!

I’m excited to see what my runs will be like this week!

First Long Run Since my Official Start!

First of all, I want to thank all my friends for donating! It’s very hard to express how emotional and humbled by your donations I am in a blog. Just know that I appreciate every single one of you!!

I have been wondering the past week if a marathon is to much for me. I've also been joking about how people can meet me at Mass. General after the marathon and we can all eat carb's while I get my IV fluid (Ok, only half-joking...maybe not joking at all).

So, needless to say this long run was going to set the stage for me for the next five months. How confident or apprehensive I would be would come down to this one long run. Not much pressure at all!

To my utter amazement on Saturday, I did a total of 9 miles and I feel great. A little sore, but since I took about two weeks off from running, that’s to be expected!

I’m still not as fast as I was – and that’s ok. I need to give myself some time after resting for two weeks, to catch back up. Well...after a forced rest. Something about my Neurologist, my friend who happens to be my former Physical Therapist and friends telling me, some in more polite terms than others, that I was an idiot and needed to rest.

I also realize that I do have five months before Boston, and I think that is probably enough time to recover from two weeks of non-running :-D.

As I’m sitting here writing this, I’m eating a bowl of whole wheat pasta with chicken breast. Why am I mentioning this? Because, I feel fine – no aches or pains from the miles logged yesterday! In the past, when I would push myself in a 5k, I would be sore the next day. I did almost the equivalent of 3 5k’s and nothing. Mr. Galloway, wherever you are, thank you!

Crazy Like a Runner

I’m a runner now (that’s weird to say)… well to be honest I suppose I’ve been a runner for awhile. I’ve done five 5k’s this year and I plan on a few more before the year is up. Huh, look at that I guess I really am a runner. I had planned on doing some longer races but foot issues and other random issues have stopped me.

Not a running related injury mind you. Somehow, I sliced my right foot open. I actually think it was a gnome that ran by my foot with a small knife because I have no other explanation! All I know is that I was ‘OK’ then I went to Universal to watch a movie and then BAM horrible bleeding/pain. Hm, maybe it’s some kind of Universal Studios trap. So, no 10k or 15k for me yet this year and I probably won’t until next year.

What’s the crazy part you ask? I run, isn’t that crazy enough? No? Oh, ok well then I guess there is something else. I somehow thought it would be a good idea to run a Marathon for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society (NMSS). Yes a marathon is long but I know I can do it. Heck if I can do 10 miles in the Florida heat I can do anything. Right? Yeah…

Oh, what marathon? Hm, well the Boston Marathon (Aha, there is the crazy!). Yes, that is what I said the Boston Marathon. Now, I can’t qualify for it, I’m not that fast yet, but you can put in an application with the Boston Chapter of the NMSS and if they approve your application you get a cool number and you get to run.

I haven’t been given a number (yet) but I am in the running for a number at the moment. If I get it, I will run the Boston Marathon in April! Either way I’m starting my Marathon training this weekend because I am running a Marathon next year! If it’s not Boston It will be another.
 
So, I suppose that I am crazy but after everything I’ve been through ankle surgery, chronic illness, and all kinds of other issues - I am going to run!

So here’s to being crazy like a runner and to starting the long process of marathon training! If anyone would like to join me in Boston and throw oranges at me as I run, or yell at me so I don’t stop, you’re more than welcome to join me.

Things that annoy me - Part 1 (and there are many parts trust me)

“What prompted this blog?” you may ask yourself. Believing that I should answer the obvious before going into the rant I have in mind I thought I would answer you my fine internet friends. Randomly, the wrong bounce fabric softener was bought at the store. I don’t think much of it and decide to use it and buy the kind I usually use next time.

Yesterday, as I’m cooking I smell this overwhelming rotten flower smell. I’m like what IS that? I realize that it’s my clothes. Do people like to smell like rotten flowers?

Why do we feel like everything has to smell like flowers and fairy farts for it to qualify as clean? Can’t it just smell ‘clean’? “Clothes Line Fresh” why don’t you just hang your clothes on a clothes line if you want that? I don’t like having to scour the isles for lotions that don’t make me want to puke in order to find some moisturizer for my hands.

Then I go to the store today and I am almost blown back in the grocery isle picking out peppers because the woman next to me has dumped a whole bottle of perfume on her head. This made me ponder other annoying things that people do while I was searching for peppers that weren’t smashed.

So, here’s another list.

1. I don’t want to be able to smell you from across the parking lot. Stop bathing in your perfume/cologne/body spray or whatever it is you’re soaking in. 
2. If you walk past an area in the store and I can still smell you five minutes after - see the second part of #1.
3. DON’T let your little juvenile delinquents smash the produce in the grocery store. SOME of us want to buy green peppers that haven’t been massacred. It also does things like make the poor produce man apologize and go in the back and pull out a box of new peppers for me.
4. Control your little felons in the making. I also wanted to buy tomato sauce without having to watch a cart with kids vs. tomato sauce accident. It also makes me feel like I have to do something to help the injured children.
5. Don’t sneak up behind me while I’m backing out of a parking space and put your cart there little grocery store cart man. I have a SUV and I can’t see the little carts that you’ve put on my bumper. As well, apologizing by saying “Don’t worry there is no damage” is not an appropriate answer.
6. Don’t walk out in front of me then stop and stare at me. I am not going to run you over. If you were worried about me running you over, why did you walk out in front of me in the first place?
7. If you are a cop and you are participating in a speed trap. Walking out in front of someone who is speeding with your hand out is probably a bad idea. Also, don’t look shocked when that person has to slam on their breaks. You’re a cop but you’re not superman. If the car is speeding already why do you think he/she will see you in time to stop?
8. Yes, girls play computer games. Yes, girls who don’t look like dorks play computer games. No, I don’t want to discuss computer games with you for 20 minutes. This is why I say I’m buying the games for my boyfriend. You weird guys make me lie…
9. I haven’t talked to you in a year. Please stop texting me.
10. Don’t randomly show up at my house at 11pm and bang on my door like the cops unless you think I’m dead. Saying I didn’t answer my phone at 10:30 isn’t a reason to think I’m dead. Especially if I spoke to you that morning.