MS and Crazy Weird Things

MS is a fun disease which has no rhyme or reason, can be different from one day to another, and can be different from person to person. Me and most of my MSy friends (KC 11 REPRESENT!) are doing fine with our MS. We all have our problems of course but we live well, enjoy our lives, and are positive people.

We're kinda like this maybe a bit louder.

I'm out of work for at least six weeks. Why you ask? Cause I'm sick. This is the really fun part of MS when you get sick for no reason. The worst thing? You don't look sick. Yes it's one of those catch 22 situations. You're sick and want to work but you don't look sick and can't work. So, everyone judges you and you get to feel even worse about not working and being sick. 

I have a bad habit of pushing myself to much. This last time I kept pushing and my eyes finally checked out. That means I get this awesome double vision that looks like a bad TV screen that's not in tune. I also know that a lot of younger people wont remember rabbit ears on a TV set. Look it up it's funny. 

I also have a habit of telling people that I'm fine. I don't know if it's because I've been taught not to seem week (thank you Asian upbringing) or if I just don't want people in my business, but I never ask for help and I'm always "fine". 

My boyfriend has now started asking follow-up questions. Goes like this: "How are you today?" 

"I'm fine."

"Oh OK." We talk about something else. 

"So, how are you really?"

This gets me to laugh a little and tell him what's really going on. When we first started dating he would get upset because I'd need help or be sick and he had no Idea. I'm working on that and he asks follow-ups now to help me (smile)

For the past few days I've been in a tremendous amount of pain. My shoulder, and more specifically my rotator cuff was irritated. What this means to me is that it feels like my arm is going to rip itself out of it's socket. I also can't sleep, move, type, scratch my nose...

I hate taking narcotics but on Saturday when I could not sleep or find a sitting, standing, or laying position without pain I went to the Emergency Clinic. I got some strong anti-inflammatory and some pain medication. Narcotic of course. 

Fast forward five days later and I can sleep and scratch my nose! I should have put my stubbornness behind me and asked for help earlier. So, I have decided to ask for more help and admit I'm sick and suffering from pain and fatigue and other MS crap. I'm still happy and in a good mood and I know this will pass and I'll be back at it like I was before. For now though it's OK to rest. Just like if I had the flu the only difference is that no one else can see this illness.

Don't judge me to harshly people who don't know what's going on with me and I'll try to do the same for you.